Emotional Safety

Emotional Safety (or Love The One You’re With)

The degree to which we feel emotionally safe within ourselves is the same degree to which we feel emotionally safe. Stay with me here.

Emotional safety arises from a relationship that is filled with deep acceptance and unconditional love. For me, it feels like landing in a big, comfy chair wrapped in a big, comfy blanket holding a cup of spicy hot tea and watching a gentle snow fall. For you it might feel like a sunrise on the ocean or simply walking in nature. In any case, emotional safety allows us to relax our bodies and land in the present moment. We tend to associate this feeling with the comfort of a loved one. I am proposing that it is now our responsibility, as adults, to create this safe landing pad within our own hearts. I know in my heart, that awakening to the truth that we are safe on the inside is the only path that will lead us to a safer existence on the outside.

Here’s how it goes.

Place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath. Instruct your muscles to relax in this moment. You can tell them I said that it’s safe to do so. Imagine a space of your own inside of your heart. Let it fill with light, color, and texture and a very deep acceptance for you and all that is. Release the pressure, the pulling, the pushing, and the constant need to prove that you are okay or worthy. Imagine that your space is a peaceful sanctuary where you can choose to land at any time. Fill it with the unconditional love that we all desire. It is your heart after all. Practice landing there as often as possible.

Inevitably, your old, used, scary, negative, limiting thoughts will rise and fall and rise again. They will interfere, as in interFEAR, with your relaxation. However, when you allow yourself to get cozy in your own heart, you can then greet your thoughts and feelings with gentle, loving kindness. The harsher the thought you bring to your heart, the more gentle your greeting. Be with yourself the way you would be with your most cherished buddy. Offer yourself the generosity, understanding, compassion and humor that you offer to others. Love and accept your fabulous quirks and you will gain the courage to make any changes you desire, both inside and out.

Imagining a young version of yourself living in that cozy place in your heart can be very effective. This little you is your innocence, your essential or true spiritual nature. It is your responsibility to care for her as if her life depended on it.

Listen deeply
Attend to her needs
Have compassion for her experiences
Vow to do her no harm

This process will help you to forge a new relationship with yourself. One where you are able to make conscious, loving choices for yourself and for the well-being of our planet. Remember that thoughts and actions that do not violate or betray ourselves will, in turn, not violate or betray anyone else.

When we practice self-care we gain the energy to courageously express our true nature. Our hearts open and our love spills out into the world.

Let it spill, let it spill, let it spill.

Love to all, Jane


2 thoughts on “Emotional Safety

  1. Thank you for the beautiful reminder–so beautifully and lovingly expressed. And who are you on the phone with? Do you have a new friend?!

    Sent from my iPhone



  2. Jane,
    What a love-ly piece to write and share! Thank you!
    And I must add, you sure look happy with that dogfriend!
    Did I say this twice? Well, if so, it is twice true.


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